The day my 4yo went full Jackass

If you’ve ever been to a science museum chances are you’ve run across a hurricane simulator. Basically it’s a small little enclosed space that blows air around in a circle at about 75 mph to simulate being in an F1 tornado.

And it’s $2 for about 90 seconds.

I happen to have a battery operated leaf blower that can reach speeds of… checks internet… an F2 tornado. Occasionally I’ll blow all debris off the entry area, take the children out and dust them off with it. Our entry area essentially is a closed room, so they get the tornado effect as well.

They love it, it’s like a ticket tornado sans tickets. All has been good the past few times.

Then my 4yo tripped over nothing and face planted. When she tripped the blower wasn’t even on, but it’s associated with that. I also happened to have video of them laughing and yelling that included me stopping, 3 seconds later kid taking 2 steps and face planting as she stepped on her own feet.

So we got to daycare the next day. Sometimes I let them know when something unusual has happened because a 4yo trying to explain… imagine a 4yo explaining it… “daddy makes the wind with a wand”… eh, whatever. Wanted to explain the odd set of bandaids because they simply didn’t make sense for one accident (nose, both outer wrists)

But this time the instructor wasn’t quite clear on my explanation and ho ho, I ‘ve got video. So I showed it to her and was mobbed by 4yos. All good… ok.. think things are done, if we ever do this again I’m chaining the 4yo to one spot to not move, yah yah…

Today I was swarmed… a bunch of kids asking for the video again. This is 5 or so days since it occured and I don’t know what inspired them. Aerin’s jabbering up a storm about how funny it was and I said something to the effect that it was funny up until she got hurt.

She yelled “daddy show them the video that I fell like this!” and dove headfirst into the ground. Thunk.

I picked her up and told her while she was crying that the appropriate statement was either “hey Bubba, hold my drink,” or “I’m Aerin Knoxville, and this is Jackass.” The sadness pain lasted about a minute, then she asked me to show them the video in which she fell. I said I would as long as she promised to never act out falling again.

Paul King

Paul King lives in Nashville Tennessee with his wife, two daughters and cats. He writes for Pocketables, theITBaby, and is an IT consultant along with doing tech support for a film production company.