A couple of years ago after trying to figure out what the average weight and size of a skittles, avocado, milk dud, and an apple were in relationship to a gestating baby I decided it might be more useful if there were a chart that mapped it out by what likely helped in creating the baby in the first place, namely booze.
After having Maggie, I completely forgot about doing the chart until I started looking at the search request on theITbaby and saw several for “how big is my baby”
So, in a one-page no-click through non-spam piece:
How big is my baby, compared to booze related items
(First 20 weeks are measured head to butt, afterwards to feet. Also there’re no great booze comparisons before 12 weeks, so just skip there if you want something amusing)
You little zygote is about the size of a barley seed coming in at 1/8th of an inch and under 0.04 ounces. It would take several thousand in order to properly make up the malt/wort that is used in brewing.
While Sex on the Beach probably wasn’t what conceived your baby, the makings of it, which include cranberries, is about what your baby is the size of now. That’s about half an inch.
Your little baby is now a fetus and could be used to turn otherwise crappily brewed beer into a craft sensation as she’s now probably about the size of hops, or a cherry which can go with your Sex on the Beach up there.
Coming in at around .07 ounces, it would currently take 21.42 of your baby to make a shot.
Weight is about 0.14oz, or 1/11th of a shot.
At 1.6ish inches and 0.25oz your baby is the average size of a matchbook, and about half the weight. A matchbook is something you might have used for some bar tricks at some point before smoking was completely outlawed in most bars.
Your baby is now somewhere in the neighborhood of 2.1 inches and half an ounce. This makes her about 88% the height of an average shotglass, and about 1/3rd the weight of the contents of a filled shotglass.
Coming in at 2.9 inches and .81 ounces your baby is the size of the lemon full they sliced up and used to flavor your water while you’re trying to decide what you actually wanted to drink. At 0.8 ounces we’re still not up to the size of a shot yet.
Week 14 shooters!
Your baby now weighs 1.52 ounces, or the equivalent of a straight up standard shot of booze. Coming in at about 3.5 inches your child is about 70% the height of a beer can.
I’m still uncertain why anyone uses the coasters, they cause more spills in a bar establishment than they save in terms of drops of condensate. But whatever floats your boat.
Week 16 make it a double!
At 3.5 ounces your baby’s gone and passed the two shots mark. Coming in at 4.57 inches there’s not really anything I can directly compare.
Week 17 the size of a beer can, weight of a cocktail
Week 18 got nothin’
5.6 inches, 6.7 ounces
Why anyone would drink that much bitters though is beyond me.
Week 20, weighs nearly a beer can
This is the end of head to butt measuring and the start of head to heel. Your baby isn’t growing 3.6 inches in a week
Week 21, my beer can runneth over
More importantly your baby now weighs an average 12 ounce can plus about a half shot. This has nothing to do with booze, but seems like any non-fruit based baby piece ends up with a very datable technology reference. If you want to buy me one feel free.
Week 22, my Goodness, my Guinness
Many believe a pint or two of Guinness a day helps during pregnancy to keep iron levels up, pain levels down, and is great bait for internet arguments. You can decide for yourself.
1.1 pounds, 11.38 inches. That’s 11.73 shots.
It is at this point on publication date that I’ve run out of things to put in. I’ll edit this later and fill out the rest. If you’ve got anything shoot it to me and it’ll be included in the piece.
At this age we pass into the deuce deuce category, or 22 ouncers (uncommon as far as I know.)
Week 25 – Tall Boy
Between week 25 and week 26 your baby becomes the weight of a standard tall boy (24oz). Or two standard canned beverages of your choice.
1.7 pounds, 14 inches (the weight of about 18 & 1/2 shotglasses worth of beverage)
1.95 pounds, 14.4 inches. About the weight of 3 beers, or one 32 ouncer. the 32 ouncers are commonly paired with complementary foods from the Bella de Taco or Arby’s, and you might have to be running to grab some of these items along with ice cream at this point of the pregnancy.
2.2 pounds, 14.8 inches
Week 29 40oz
2.9 pounds, 15.7 inches
3.1 pounds, 16.2 inches
3.75 pounds, 16.7 inches
4.25 pounds, 17.2 inches
4.75 pounds, 17.7 inches
5.25 pounds, 18.2 inches
5.8 pounds, 18.7 inches
6.3 pounds, 19.1 inches
6.8 pounds, 19.6 inches
7.25 pounds, 20 inches
7.63 pounds, 20.16 inches
7.93 pounds, 20.35 inches
8.12 pounds, 20.3 inches
More to come in this article