Dearest movie industry: how to make billions

Movie ProjectorIt’s a pretty well established pattern that a movie is released and is on the internet within a day, or sometimes several days before the actual release of the movie. Films like Mad Max were out and available as DVD screeners while still playing in the theaters.

In short the anti piracy measures aren’t really effective, the decentralized nature of torrenting and the anonymity provided by VPN services makes tracking someone who bothered to read a five minute text nearly impossible.

Let me tell you a story from a parent of a two year wanting to see a movie. I really wanted to see Age of Ultron. In order to do this with a two year old I have to line up a babysitter. After dropping two year old off with babysitter I then have to get to the theater, which has a sub-par AC and the screen is so dim I’m pretty sure their bulb burned out years ago.

It’s an event is what I’m saying. It’s no longer “hey, want to grab a movie?” it’s “hey, want to arrange to have someone take care of our little human on a date a few days from now and then transport them there and go to a theater to have a potentially disappointing experience due to faulty equipment or person who doesn’t get what a movie theater is and spends it texting or farting?”

So I know the deal with new releases is you want them in theaters exclusively to prop up the theaters as businesses that purchase your product, after they’re done with it the movie will sit in limbo for a few months until it turns up on Netflix and everyone has already had the entire thing spoiled by friends talking about it.

If you insist on these draconian methods of distributing your movies, have the brick and mortar movie houses make money streaming it to homes with children.

You set it up so that a family can only watch in app X on an XBOX One or something with the camera pointed at the viewers. Too many eyes pop up, stop the stream. Can’t see the viewers, stop the stream. You’re already dealing with HDMI which theoretically has the ability for DRM so you’ve got your DRM in place.

Opening day you get your money, movie theaters get their money, parents of little ones get the ability to see their first run movie with a pause button so when someone’s diaper explodes it can be handled. Want to watch Ant Man during toddler nap time? Bam – doable.

The benefits are: increased opening weekends. Added revenue to theaters. Parents can see the new blockbuster without having to lose several hours of their child’s awake hours. Reduced piracy due to convenience. Parents will pay opening weekend box office ticket prices as opposed to waiting a month to download a korean subtitled version.

Or you know, you can keep fighting technology and failing, sending out threatening DMCA letters to people who want your product but can’t find a way to get it legally in the time they have during the day.

The next time we have a SARS-like epidemic you’re going to see movie theaters with tumbleweeds flying through them as everyone’s afraid of getting the funk. So why not prepare while adding serious convenience?