6 things at Toys R Us worse than Breaking Bad action figures

About a month back some parents got in a huff over Toys R Us having Breaking Bad action figures for sale, which were marketed toward adults but in a place where a child might see them.

I could sort of see their point – that you don’t want to have anyone with that bad of a rep available for children, but the fact that the Breaking Bad characters were singled out as opposed to perhaps the Sons of Anarchy characters they also sell did get in my craw a little bit. Only a little bit though, really, I’m just awake and writing as I can’t get tired for some reason tonight.

I get that glorifying a drug dealer is what the issue was, but I don’t think the parents thought this one through very far.

Imagine my pleasant surprise when I saw an advertisement on Sprout aimed at the 1-6 crowd for a toy based on a murderer/rapist. We’ll start with the easy one and work our way in through this pretty short list:

The Joker

Lego Duplo Batman and JokerThe Lego Duplo Joker and Batman set (click the picture above for it $2 cheaper). There’s a lot of things one can say about the Joker, but they start with murdering clown who killed Robin, shot Barbara Gordon in the spine paralyzing her, and then evidently raped her, or at least took photos that made it look like it that he gave to her dad.

Joker’s been one of the more interesting of the Bat characters, and here we have him holding a spray container of his lovely Joker serum which makes you laugh until you die.

Batman locks him up, he escapes, murders hundreds. Repeat. They’re advertising this pretty heavily on Sprout at the moment.

Oh, here’s a page they couldn’t publish from that one with Barbara Gordon. It should be noted it’s quite not safe for work.

Chucky

Chucky

Chucky’s a murdering psychotic possessed child’s doll. I’d go into all the things he’s done, but you can read up on them here if you want. Comes with knife for stabbing people to death. Available at Toys R’ Us.

Freddy

A Nightmare on Elm StreetWhile the original Freddy was a psychotic demon-like character bent on murder and killing people just when they were about to have sex, the newer version was a serial child rapist before being burned alive by concerned parent groups. In any event, he killed, tortured, and child raped (in the new one) through a series of movies and TV shows.

Looks to include a skull with peelable face.

Leatherface

Leatherface

Leatherface comes wearing a mask made of human flesh (if I remember correctly,) soaked in blood, with a hammer and a chainsaw to slice up victims. I don’t recall much of the movie except it’s not something you’d particularly want your child having anything to do with.

This… this thing

Washington Redskins zombieI mean really, you take an abomination like that and sell it to kids? Seriously Redskins, change your freaking name, and why Toys R Us is selling merch that pretty much everyone agrees is patently racist with a cute cuddly zombie is beyond me.

But really, change the name and move on.

Grand Theft Auto

Grand Theft Auto V

I’m not sure what isn’t in this. I played it and the only thing I don’t recall being in there is child assassination and dog rape, but I may be a bit off. I’m pretty sure at one point there’s a series of missions where you’re basically doing everything in Breaking Bad.

I’m skipping over a variety of sports folk they have action figures of that I’m pretty sure some have a cloud hanging over their head when it comes to legal troubles, products from accused serial rapists in the news at the moment.

There are also several discontinued items that they simply don’t sell as they’re not popular any more or not listed on the website, and it’s midnight so I’m not dropping into Toys R Us tonight.

Wrap up

This isn’t a “bring back our Breaking Bad” piece, nor is it a “get rid of this stuff” piece, just a people made a huge stink over a fake baggie of drugs being sold as an accessory to a toy marketed toward adults at a toy store as opposed to say TRU selling action figures of murders aimed at babies, or that they have for a very long time.

Nothing to see here, move along. Well, unless you want to wonder why LEGO is licensing the Joker to market to toddlers.