Barry Allen and Wally West may be the fastest men alive, but that shouldn’t discourage your toddler from attempting to break into the Speed Force. Just make sure they don’t attempt to recreate the lab accident that left Barry a near corpse in The FlashPoint Paradox.
This Batman romper tells the world that while your infant is ready to fight crime, he’s also ready to let a criminally insane lunatic be left in the hands of an inept and incompetent prison system to escape and murder more and more of the citizens of Gotham.
The romper also informs the world that the Bat’s repeating actions of attempting to stuff a clown in a cage only to find the clown escapes, killing indiscriminately, will finally result in said clown managing to trick Superman into killing Lois Lane and their unborn child and destroyign Metropolis. The resultant military state that Superman reigns down will be next to indistinguishable from what Batman’s ultimate goals are to the people of Gotham.
But your kid will look darn cute.
Ah yes, where would we be without a Superman romper? Probably in the same place or better as before when you remember that if it weren’t for Superman and his Kryptonian gene-stealing parents, the followers of General Zod wouldn’t have had a reason to come to Earth freaking out about the potential demise of their race.
Laugh as your toddler fails to discover that they simply could have found some Kryptonite, or punched Zod into orbit on the dark side of the planet where he wouldn’t have been able to absorb the sun’s radiation, or immobilized him, kicked him out of the city to fight where nobody would be hurt, etc etc etc.
I’m not really familiar with the current Green Lantern canon. I tuned out before there were Red, White, Purple and polkadotted lanterns, and well before the horrid Ryan Reynolds abomination.
I’m more from the era when Green Lantern could be defeated by two guys and a can of Glidden.
Click the Green Lantern picture above to purchase, but make sure you recite the oath “In darkest day, in brightest night, no chance to save on shipping will escape my sight, let those who worship the free market’s might, beware my Amazon Prime, shipping overnite”
This Wonder Woman romper… well, I honestly haven’t read enough Wonder Woman in any of the normal DC timelines to make snark here, and the alternate timelines such as in the Flashpoint Paradox or Injustice make her seem like a villain, or at least a total evil enabler.
I’m really not sure what message you’re sending with this other than it’s cute, has been around for 50+ years and only a handful of comics were written or had any female involvement, and Linda Carter was amazing as her.
I’m also not certain what message they’re attempting to convey by not having her have the bracelets to deflect bullets, the Lasso of Truth or alternately the sword and shield.
Now, the original Justice League consisted of Green Lantern, Superman, Batman, Flash, Martian Manhunter, and Aquaman. Unfortunately nobody seems to have made a Martian Manhunter romper, and I don’t care how badass the Aquaman reboot is, he still cons fish into making him peanut butter and jelly sandwiches so whatever.
For either of these characters just put your kid in green or orange. Or for the Manhunter, just dress your kid as Superman and tell people he’s using his shape shifting abilities.
I guess for Aquaman pour some water on the child and have them run around screaming “I’m king of the ocean” until some Marvel/DC crossover happens and someone says “You’re king Namor!” (no more… get it… joke…)