Q: How many pacifiers do I need? A: Infinity pacifiers.

How many pacifiers is enough? More than two.Something we wondered when Maggie was born was how many pacifiers did we actually need? We knew there were different styles, so we didn’t really want to stock up too much on one and have her outgrow it and need to go onto something else, but we had no idea what fate would lay for the pacifiers that we did have.

At first when we have nine pacifiers and suddenly had two, we thought we could blame the cats as there had been one known instance of a kitty swatting a pacifier that was on the ground. The problem with this theory was that the cat on duty would have actually had a plan to carry this out and have someplace to stash everything. This doesn’t seem to be the case.

The next assumption was that they were falling out in the car, as that’s the only possible place that a baby who doesn’t throw things without being seen could have chucked them. An inspection of the car showed none of the several replacement pacifiers.

At 14 pacifiers purchased now and several given to us, we’ve narrowed it down to two possible options:

The Terrible Secret of MAM Pacifiers – Self Destruct Timer

That’s right, one of my beliefs is that these pacifiers have a self destruct switch built in. Sure the technology to make sure there are no remains and no witnesses when they destroy themselves would far out-weigh the value of the pacifier, but how else are you going to explain it other than:

Daycare pacifier smuggling ring

We should have suspected when they managed to lose a pacifier with our daughter’s name on it, but it makes perfect sense that the daycares are in the pockets of Big Baby.

Taking pacifiers from baby’s mouths and putting them back on the shelves in an off-beat evil liberal recycling program aimed at your wallet.

I mean, those are the only options, it’s not like there’s a pocket universe where all the pacifiers end up, and once lost these things simply never reappear.

I don’t know… those are my thoughts… others have their own ideas as to what happens. What are yours?

  • EM

    Agree 100%. We had about 6 pacifiers when P was born, and immediately discovered he only liked one of the brands. That left us with two pacifiers which we assumed would be plenty. Until we left the bedroom and immediately one of the pacifiers simply turned to ether. We went out and bought about 4 more, of which there is one left, leaving us with two pacifiers. Pacifiers have become a staple to buy at the grocery store like milk, vegetables, cheeses, and beer. We’ve got them stored like Easter Eggs throughout the house and car. They turn up in the strangest areas.

    The parallel can be made with socks in the dryer. The same gremlins probably have a propensity for pacifiers as well. Maybe they are baby sock gremlins.

    The one defense I’ve found is the Wubbanub animals that are permanently attached to the pacifiers. These are awesome guardians of the paci (sounds like a new JK Rowling series), and we’ve only lost one (which we think was stolen by an evil child at a store when we weren’t looking – of course we didn’t discover until later). Yes they are pricey for each one, but they have the added benefit of being something that P can grab onto and feel, as opposed to my chest hair, carseat straps, or my wife’s hair.


  • Yes, i believe my mom is getting one of those paci animals for Mag’s! We just gotta hold out a bit 😉